Wednesday, July 14, 2010

If you already know me then you know I'm an analyzer! what you don't know is that a few years ago I drove myself crazy with it, until I finally said a prayer. - It went something like this.
Ok Father, I get it you are answering all my prayers, I however, then go and analyze this- so lets make a deal. apparently I need you to be more specific - Whatever you want me to get, whatever you want me to do give it to me
LOUD AND CLEAR . Give me SIGNS. CLEAR signs no way to analyze and pick the wrong thing ,signs. "
God answered .
( I don't know what your God is like. but my God is my friend and like most my friends we have a very honest sarcastic relationship :)

the point. I've always believed in signs and now a days they come LOUD AND CLEAR.

at church a few Sundays ago the message was 'loud and clear'. you don't need to earn Gods love on a daily basis. It's not this roller coaster ride that you hope you perish on a good day so you go to Heaven. It's having a faith. believing he made the ultimate sacrifice and he wants you even when your "messy" pretty sure everyone who believes whether they are church goes or not should hear the message i heard. IT was a weight lifted.

I got into conversations with new people I've met and somehow religion came up and what the church was like that i attend. I wasn't sure how to give it the credit it deserves to describe it in a way that would draw people of faith to it.
then last Sunday happened. and in the sermon he talked about how a church isn't where God is. coming there didn't mean you would feel him. God is where your heart is with you always if you let him reside there. Church. this church was merely a place people with the same beliefs could gather. praise. meet new people. make a difference together. Finding him you had to do on your own. Then they asked everyone what were the things they did to feel closer to him. our pastor named music. Singing made him happy! let him feel close to God. I sat there wondering.. what do I do...sure pray but I knew there was something more I just couldn't think of it

Then I got invited to the lake. how I've missed the lake ! the beauty of it. The adrenaline of wakeboarding. speed. makes me feel more alive . At end we decided to cruise a lap before me headed in. As I sat in the front of the boat looking out I remembered what made me feel closest.
moments like this. moments outside and with friends. Moments of pure quiet while staring at all the beauty. - guess he does listen even when think I'm only talking to myself.

I've been stressing over how to pay for everything. How to know I'm picking the right car that wont throw my feet over my head while I'm in nursing school and wont destroy my plans of my trip next summer. - I took my dad to look at the corolla and I got the approval! what! I didn't even have to convince him. and the guy said he make it a 100,000 mile warranty instead of the sixty . and 0.0 % for 60 months!
DECISION obvious right.

so then sky diving. It crossed my mind that i was insane. what if something happened and I didn't get to do all the things I have planned.
instantly the thought- when its your time its your time came to mind. I still took convincing so when BJ text me
am I a go. it contained " what fear have you over come lately"
rarely do I turn down a challenge. so iItook that as my answer to my prayer of " do I do this. Do I spend the money when all this other stuff is going on.Do i I fill that pull for an adventure. "

last but not least I was just talking to a friend about dates. its a big step getting back out there. But once again I prayed. I prayed for nice guys and dates with no pressure. Just fun.
and was I doing this to early should I just not date till school is out and this sticky from a blog i followed came up

My point in sharing this, I wish that those who have no belief in a church/religion realize it's not about a church or religion . Its about

seems simple right.
It is.


  1. I loved this post. I think one of my favorites of yours. I don't know if you notice but you have changed so so much in the last year alone. And it's pretty amazing. You are so unique, no one else like you. And I'm lucky to have you be such a big part of my life. love you.

  2. yes i have . At new years my old manager told me this next year would be one of change for me. and boy was she right! though think part of me made it a challenge to make that true.

    thanks coco! i hope you know how much i love and adore you. Im equally as lucky to have had you around so long.

  3. I like this as well, very nice! I think that lap around the lake was my favorite part. It has been awhile since I was lost in my own thoughts and just taking in what was around me.

    I'm glad that you're mixing in letting fate guide you and being proactive to make decisions. I think it's working for you!

  4. Mi amor, you have really taught me something with this post. I love it.