Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Rules of engadgement

recently I've decided to be more open to the "dating game" again However, I'm going to take this moment and admit I'm not one of those people who LOVE the game.

yep game. Its a strategic game or interested and not to interested. thank you vince vaugh for spelling it out

"I apologize to you if I don't seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call dating. I don't like the feeling. You're sitting there, you're wondering do I have food on my face, am I eating, am I talking too much, are they talking enough, am I interested I'm not really interested, should I play like I'm interested but I'm not that interested but I think she might be interested but do I want to be interested but now she's not interested? So all of the sudden I'm getting, I'm starting to get interested... And when am I supposed to kiss her? Do I have to wait for the door cause then it's awkward, it's like well goodnight. Do you do like that ass-out hug? Where you like, you hug each other like this and your ass sticks out cause you're trying not to get too close or do you just go right in and kiss them on the lips or don't kiss them at all? It's very difficult trying to read the situation.

add in there
A. way to much pressure on the exclusive thing to happen right away.
B. Everyone likes to give their opinions and heed warnings before even asking where you stand in the situation or opposite because your single you get constantly pushed onto
" I have the perfect person for you" - which if they are a friend of a friend puts you in a whole new walking on egg shells situation.
C. last its difficult to tell the genuine from the player these days.

I'll go ahead and be honest.
- I'm a romantic sap- enter my friends teasing me that I love ,<>

the idea of the old fashion dating- first dates, first kisses. flowers and dancing photo booth photos .. lil surprise notes and calls for no reason.. blah blah

Every girl has quick ways to her heart..
3 ways to my mine

flowers for no reason
being game for anything/making me feel like i can take you around anyone.

Now for the real reason wrote the blog - guess you come to notice I tend to go on tangents. anyways

No one ever said dating was easy. First dates are awkward, second dates are expectant and the dates that follow that -- determine if you love or hate the corks and present hundreds of opportunities for missteps

starts with THE THREE DAY RULE -
sadly i may not like this rule however im one of those that are the reason a guy abides by it.
you call to often or to soon and i loose interest. I doubt your interested and i walk too.. man Im a pain! ( but worth it)

If you call before 3 days you’re too desperate. If you wait too long it shows them, they’re really not important enough to call sooner. This whole dating thing is ass backwards in my opinion. - take me back to the good ol' days

rule 2 - apparently meeting the parents isn't a big deal anymore.. call me old fashion but meeting the parents still seems like a BIG deal. after all whether its quick or a long time before your invited to meet them their opinion counts - its the ultimate make or break deal- at least in my world. after all your family knows you best so who better to help you decide if the "other half" is the right one for you.

3. If its a dinner date don't get drunk! time and place people.

4. Ask questions to. nothing irritates me more then when only one person does all the talking. or worse when you have to be the one to carry the convo. its exhausting.

5. Lear to dance. even if you have two left feet. if your having fun so is she.

the bright side of dating. -
even if the date went HORRENDOUS. it will be a great story later.
and finding the one. well its really all about chemistry and TIMING. so stop focusing on the what if future and enjoy the now.

What was your worst date experience ?


  1. can't read any of this. :( its in weird code or something.

  2. I was able to read it. And I had a huge smile on my face the whole way through.

    K - Our dear and beloved married friends won't be able to fully appreciate our plight, haha. I think we need to develop an iPhone app for when a guy should call ya after a date, it's like a space shuttle launch! ;)

    Great post!

    Winner of worst date probably goes to a girl that I actually made the mistake of listening to. I had been hanging out with this girl for awhile but we didn't really go on any formal dates early on. I'm an old soul in a way and I didn't feel right not having taken her out, so I insisted that we do the dinner/night out thing.

    Her only stipulation was that it wouldn't be stuffy and romantic.

    So that crushes about 70% of the fun of the date before it even happens. I make reservations at a few different places and plan out the night.

    When pick her up a few days later I'm wary of her only condition and I have flowers and a small gift for her hidden in the back seat.

    I'm there exactly on-time and compliment her beauty as we walk to the car. I open the car door for her. She stands there with her head cocked and says, "I thought we weren't going to make a big deal of this?" Down to about 85% of the fun gone.

    So as I walk around the back of the car I get my game face on. Fine. Light. Funny. Easy. Sure, I can do that. Thankfully I had another playlist ready and we go to dinner to one of the places that was a tad less formal than the others.

    At dinner she's not saying much so I'm dragging the conversation along. Asking about her friends and family, about work. I fill in her gaps with my recent experiences and nothing is making a dent. Then I make my first mistake (I've probably made more, but as the guy, what do I know?) "So, what's wrong?"

    We do the little dance, back and forth, and she finally relents: "You're talking to me like you always do. We're at a place that's nice, but not what I expected. We're on our first real date, you know."


    I smile and nod my head (that's not a good thing, btw.) "Let me clarify. You say to not make a big deal and to have a casual night out. I hedge my bet because I don't want to be insensitive to your feelings, but I still treat it as a special night. You make it abundantly clear when I pick you up that you weren't kidding around and now I'm doing everything I can to make it a more casual night."

    "It's not how I pictured it. Never listen to a girl when it comes to a first date."

    Pretty frustrated now, so I'm rocking the "I can't believe this is happening right now" smile. There's no way the food can salvage the night. The dessert, however, was that good and that lightened things a bit.

    Took her home and kinda shoveled the things I had for her into her arms, walked her to the door and dipped out at about 10pm.

    That relationship had promise. haha...

  3. hahahah well im thinking its because you cant create a first date when your WAY past it.

    mine tops yours.
    I finally agreed to a date with a guy who was persistent. my mother always claims i need to let the idea of instant chemisty go and know it can come. so i gave in..
    it went something like this. met him at the restaurant. he got wasted in less time then it took to get food. pretty sure it was on a rum and coke. make it a double. each time he ordered. proceeded to talk only about him self and money or the drama of his intermediate family. lol. needless to say when he asked for a ride at the end i said nope. mean i know but i was annoyed.
    if you ever meet hayley ask her heres. tops both ours. lets just say at one point in the evening she was told its a good thing you didn't end up wearing red or blue tonight.

  4. "mine tops yours" hahah! I love the confidence! Especially because you are, in no uncertain terms, correct.

    Can I fight for the guy and say that maybe he was just nervous and trying to take the edge off? Nah, he should have known better. With doubles you're trying to take the edge off along with the sides and the corners. :)

    Hayley's sounds awesome! (awesome in the way that it didn't happen to me and she survived it) Is that a blood/crypts gang thing?? Sure sounds like it, or maybe I've seen blood in, blood out one too many times...