Sunday, April 25, 2010

whats new

Change .
I'm a creator of habit I can't help it.
I make decisions constantly. All day. Im good at it. UNTIL it involves a change.
Recently i have discovered about myself that I have minor anxiety over big decisions. I HATE decisions that make me feel like its final. its deep routed in my Sagittarius blood to need an

strategy before I feel comfortable.

Wrong? perhaps. but its what I need .

Today I made a big Change. MOVING. I'm walking the fine line between excited and
freaking out.
At 24 i feel like I should really be venturing from the nest. Especially because I don't want to immediately go to living alone which is what would occur if I waited till i got a nursing job ( i then could afford to live alone) but now that I've decided to make that leap. . well it makes me a bit sad. I love my mom. and i love living with her. I love my house. and my pool. I love the location.
I could wait till school is out and then not work through block 2. instead....
but I know myself. Im merely dreading a drastic change and this feeling wont be any different a year from now. Ill still love my house. my pool. living with my mom. So why not now. after all
" if your waiting for the perfect moment, it just passed you by"

How do you deal with BIG changes ?
Lets hear your pro / con opinion of my latest choice. ?


  1. You can always go home. That's the thing about having awesome parents like you do. It's a good change for you. It will help out your brother and maybe living with him again will be good for you guys. But I'm going to miss seeing your mama. I don't think I see her enough anymore. Micah asked me about 5 times today if we could go over there today.

  2. come over! ha christian loves playing with gym too. wed and thurs im home mid afternoon on :)

    our right i could always come home. lol my mom promised not to change me room back right away :)

  3. Congrats on the big decision! I don't think I knew that, but you could have told me and I definitely could have let that slip my mind.

    It sounds like you have fantastic support around you, so no matter what happens, you'll be right as rain. So you're free to make the best of it and you don't have to worry too much about the outcome. :)

    Big decisions... hmm... I'm a pro/con type of person. I'll get some coffee or go for a drive and try to work things out in my head. That can be dangerous because it's easy to think in circles, so I make sure that I have at least one concrete point/idea/conclusion each time.

    (yet another tangent)
    So, when I was younger I had this recurring fever dream when I'd get sick. I was walking down a path and there was a narrow crack in the path that extended as far as I could see. This crack was insanely deep, so much so that is was illuminated by the molten lava near the earth's core.

    The only way to continue down the path was to jump it, and it was a pretty simple jump. But to be sure I'd make it I backed up and gave myself a running start. As I approached the jump I questioned if I had measured my steps out right I tried to stop.

    So kinda like a cartoon I put on the brakes and stopped right on the edge... and then fell in.
    (tangent over)

    The conclusion I came to years later was that I needed to fully commit to (and have confidence about) decisions I make.

  4. I have the belief that every once in awhile, we have to try something we're not completely sure about. It speaks volumes of our characters when we're able to embrace the unknown, even if it makes us a bit nervous. And, that's exactly what you're doing. Five years from now, your character will thank you for the big jumps you make today. ;) Congratulations, my dear! This is very exciting news!