Do you remember when you were a kid and spinning around in circles as fast as you can with your arms out n till the world became a blur and then you would abruptly stop . stagger and fall giggling?
I remember holding on tight to the metal bar of the old fashion merry go round as i ran as fast as i could spinning it and leaping on just before it got going to fast. then you sit and hold on and watch the world be a blur as you went round and round.
This past month that is how I've felt. like I'm standing still and the world is moving so fast around me that its a blur. As a kid i loved the sense of no control. as an adult... not so much
Life is good to me. I have genuine friends but I'm still searching for that sense of calm . of peace to come back.
taking longer then I'm used to, probably the stress and lets be serious all of you close to me know I over analyze - I'm wired that way . ( if you didn't know this, you do now)
what you don't know...
last year i said a prayer- part of it it went like this.
" I drive myself crazy with this trait of mine and you know often i make my heart ache because of it so I'm asking for mercy GOD. ... when you are talking to me; when I need to hear/see/be reminded of something; when I'm lost and your trying give me the directions, I need signs. no way to misinterpret, spells it out signs. - Then when i fail to listen or see or switch directions i need you to give me another no way to misinterpret, CLEAR as day - BLUNT sign. . . ."
he listened. and I'm trying. so..
one biblical verse,
one story discussed during group study
one conversation with my dear friend Lauren on the car ride home
then today this...
CLEAR ENOUGH ?