Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Doggy Paddle

Jane loves water ! normally...

So this isn't really my story to tell but it's to freaking funny to not share.

lil background... First, my mother doesn't love to swim.
second, my brother recently moved back into the casa. WIth him came Jane.
a one year old shepard mutt. who is literally a SPAZ! i should really blog all the insane things she does but ok..

I arrived home today after a full day of work on 4 hrs of sleep ( i thought happy hr saki and free poker was a good idea for a monday night when i worked at 7 am. ) bright! i know..
anyway I came in after a fab play catch up chat with my bf lauren. my intended goal was to immediately lay down and take a nap . the house was eerily quite for this time of day so i ventured to see where everyone was. I pass my mom coming down the hall
the story starts here..
me :
" wow rough day" lol - you should have seen her facial expression to me.
( all of you that know my mother knew she wears her emotions on her face

" I had to tell your brother the dog can't swim. "

" wait what- this I have to hear"

i follow her to the back where my nephew is having the time of his life singing and playing in the shower. hop up onto the sink counter and listen to my mom relive her day.

as mentioned earlier the dog is a spaz. my mom now enjoys spraying off the pool deck because the entire time she leaps back and forth pouncing the water and biting at it. the dog that is. .. occasionally she stands directly in front of the spray until she can't breath then freaks out. well they were playing this game as normal. whole patio was cleaned. hose hut off and put away .. my mom ventures to grab her phone off the table and yep you guessed it

she flung herself around to see the SPAZ drowning.
thinking in mid run SHIT my mom leaps in thinking g" why didn't I jumped closer!"

in this moment the dog is still trying to gip her paws on the side of the pool and refusing to try any other thing to escape.
my mom had to pry her from that wall and carry her to the waterfall.
she gets to the water fall and my mom shoves her up . Jane instantly has a death grip and wont budge. -
" How the hell does a dog get a death grip on anything! "

so my mom screaming for my nephew or dad to come help. My dad finally hears her as she's holding janes butt trying get her to move off the waterfall .
( keep in mind that my mom is fully dressed and was wearing glasses when she took the leap)

my father " christian come here and look at mima"
my mom " you have to be kidding me. little help here"

i later asked what his thoughts were
first - " WHat the hell!
then "thought maybe she trying to teach the dog to swim "

my replay. in only half understandable english from crying laughing.
"in full clothes she decided teach the dog to swim... "

ok so my dads out there. my nephew is now watching. Jane still freaking.
the manage to maneuver the dog to the rolled edge by the love seat and literally SHOVE her out of the water.
my mom then had to turn around and swim to the steps to get out
my nephew " does this mean we can go swimming mima"
my moms internal dialog... shit. if i say no he think he has to fall into the pool to get to go swimming.
" yeah but mima doesn't want to swim in her clothes. "
" why are you in your clothes"
"because apparenty the dog can't swim.... "

my mom then spent an additional 3 hrs outside in the pool.

man it kills me. I ithought doggy paddling would come natural. GUess I was way off. so whats my bro's weekend consist of - teaching his dog to swim! I wish i didn't have to work.

my mother now lays next to me in my bed looking for a moment of peace. in charges jane. leaps on the bed and lays down as i scream at her to get off , my mom only reply
" she loves me. I saved her life. "

yep still cry laughing even the second time around. Maybe Jane's not so bad...


  1. Your mom should fill out that blogger list of things you've done... she's earned "saved someone's life". :)

    Awesome story!

  2. Hahahaha! I loveeee! My favorite part... "She loves me. I saved her life." Bless your mom's heart!

  3. What the heck is wrong with my computer. I can't read any of that. :( tell me later friend.