BItter Sweet Goodbye

SIGH OF RELIEF.

Yep- go ahead and take one. You have to be as happy as I am that car hunting is OVER! -

All you close friends know how much I despised this whole process so I feel hunting is the correct phrasing because thats exactly what it is. First, your on the hunt of a car you like in appearance. Then that hunt narrows down to harder game, all the details.. price. quality. color.features. At the same time every dealership you stopped at is now on the hunt for you! I realize this Wouldn't have been as bad if i just lied about my phone number but DAMNIT I just couldn't do it. Im a terrible liar. Each time I sat there reciting my number I had every intention of changing the last one, thinking you know how annoying this will get, you hate to be hounded, just change the last number to 5, then i would get to 775 UGH! and out come 2.

if you survive those rounds you move on the semi finals. Negotiation.

of better described as the ' tug of war of power', my dad never looses!

I thought the first few steps were awful. THANK YOU GOD for my father with the last step.

HUGE shout out goes to him. He asked every safety question. climbed on hot concrete to check the underside. wheel and dealed ! talked to a sales manager via the phone!

I LOVE YOU DADDY more than I think you know.

So,"Hello" new car!

Goodbye Jet !

honestly...I got a little nostalgic when I had to hand over my keys. The Jetta's been around 9 years! Lots of memories in that silver bullet as the boys called it.

WHAT MEMORY DO YOU THINK OF IN THE JET ?

Alright out with the old in with the new. One thing down , a little stress lifted and my FREEDOM BACK

Number 6. CHECK

She's a good girl, loves her mama

Loves Jesus and America too

And I'm free, I'm free fallen'

And I'm free, free fallin'

Oh!

Free fallen'

The entire event was surreal. From the drive down to Eloy to the moment I realized I was about to sommersault into the wide open sky to my feet hitting the ground again. I couldn't believe I was doing it/did it. AS surreal as it was I remember every movement/thought like its happening right now.

A week ago I got hat feeling again. The one that I needed to do something. Live a little. Bj text me he was going sky diving and I should come. 24 hrs later with a lil persuasion I told myself this was my answer to the prayer I had said. so I agreed and refused to think about it till sat. Morning :)

I was sure i was going to be a nervous wreck but i was eerily calm. I simply told the two assigned to me they were going to be "chatty " to distract me and I would be golden. I acquired the nick name chatty, they abliged and my plan worked. ( helped my video guy was a STUD) but THANKS BOYS!

The entire experience was awesome ! Its not the same feeling of when a roller coaster plummets , its a floating feeling. Peaceful and exciting at the same time. I highly suggest everyone puts this on their bucket list. Will I do it again ? Maybe one day :)

three things they don't tell you

1. wear earplugs

2.if you get a group to go the coordinator gets money off their jump. their also a student discount and a 10 coupon online till sept

3.scarriest part is when they " make you more comfortable" and you sink down in the harness shifting away from your partner mid air!

or 4 things

4. your mouth will be EXTREMELY dry. ha all your photos will turn out hilarious the guys look good cuz they keep their smiles closed mouths :) thanks for the heads up.

laugh away

the love/ hate continues

Alright! ALRIGHT the honest truth to why I have the hate relationship with the gym is

having to wash my hair more often.

back me up on this ladies!

I was on my game with hitting the classes. Even got myself Mark

a.k.a ' the gym natzi' to text me daily to show up and then kick my butt when i got there.

Problem is Hayley and I are a bit feisty and he listens to us verses winning the arguments.

Needless to say we rocked it till country thunder ! then bombed it.

Two weeks ago I got myself motivated again! thank you required bathing suit season.

so since CT was a fabulous motivator I think I'm going to have an end of summer 80's themed pool party and this will be new motivator. :)

whose coming with me!

the secrets no one tells you about these three classes at the gym

1. Pilates - requires more flexibility then you would expect

2. Zumba - even when you have rhythm you won't in this class

3. Step: people love. so get there early for a spot.

My gym teacher told me to touch my toes. I said, "I don't have that kind of relationship with my feet. Can I just wave?"

this was me in yoga today! :)

Never Say Never

So you're either a dog person or a cat person right. If your honest enough to admit your not an animal person then there is that too. I say honest because any time you tell someone " I'm not really an animal lover" they give this look of astonishment and immediately think you must be cold hearted. I've been on the receiving end of that look before you feel the the need to delve into detail that you mean you love them just not enough to own one. :) Anyway, I used to be a dog person. Then, I lost my baby and I became a not an animal person perhaps thats based on the fact I know I don't have the time a pet deserves or I'm merely lazy and don't want to have to train a puppy or come home to messes. I do know I've NEVER been a cat person. UNTIL three weeks ago .


meet the new loves of my life.












Here's the situation , this story is much like the hangover and is in snippets of known events with the rest a mere mystery that we stopped trying to figure out.
snippet one :
One day out of no where we found a cat living in our back yard. well more correctly our white shepard found a stray cat living in our yard. Apparently she had made it home pretty quickly. Initially all we knew was this cat was MEAN! SHe wasn't scared of my shepards at all she just let them walk up to her without so much as a hiss. within DAYS! I catch this cat chasing our newest addition and I have two shepards popping their heads out the doggy door to look around for this cat before going outside! WTF!


enter blacked out moment :
I dont recall why we were on the side yard but my brother heard meowing. (weird hadn't seem MEAN cat in a little while guess the bush wasn't as homey as she thought) .... little snooping and YEP there was MEAN cat and THREE KITTENS snuggled up behind our air compressor- I got the text " cat has kittens. SHIT" I arrive home and the side yard is now barricaded off with random items.
I giggled. my mother said " SHUT UP"
your wondering why . I know my mother well...she knows herself well. you're about to know her.


enter black out moment 2 :
A night and a day day goes by. We cant decide what to do. WE"RE NOT CAT PEOPLE. we know nothing about cats. and my mother DOES NOT want one. - I had been sharing this story with Hayley and I should have bet on how much i knew my mother. I arrive home the next night and there is cat food on the counter


I giggled. -my mother said " SHUT UP"


so we fed a mama cat. Immediately she LOVES my mother. goes in and out of my moms legs purring.- my mom cringes every time. I giggle. :)


enter black out moment 3
the kittens got moved the night we found them and I'm not entirely sure how long we fed mama cat before we saw them again. BUT i do know mama cat waited for us at 6 am and 6 pm to get fed like clock work and when my mom would coo " wheres your babies" this cat would meow and out they came. UNTIL they saw us and then THERE THE WENT.

enter black out moment 4.
I think we played this call your babies they would come out to scurry away game a while before i got the bright idea of naming them. my mom " NO" -
"mama cat has beautiful eyes. one blue and one green and she was mean. " two faced" "
"NO"
"two face where your babies. two face call them " i coo
" twoey"
" what?"
" two faced is two long ad she's a girl."
I giggle. my mother says " SHUT UP"


3 kittens.
Mimosa - he was the brave one that would come out hesitantly while we were there. he was the first one i got to pet. - figured liquid courage and mimosas happen to be my favorite drink - he was my initial favorite.
Stowaway - she is mimosas twin. she was always hunched behind the two by four waiting for us to disappear so she could come out. and being a stray i figured yep knowingly free loading.
Ebony - well she is black and the spit fire. edgy which what this stone makes me feel so good job on that name ma. ( yep my mom named this one - I giggled she said SHUT UP )


needless to say ill wrap this story up . we fed them for a week or so. my mom researched their approximate age. called around to shelters. and I BEGGED people to want a kitten. no hope anywhere. my mom was really starting to get stressed between the cats and the baby humming birds and our almost bee infestation. ( those two entirely different stories)
well sat. daisy and my mom were hunting for the missing fledgling my mother had been saving for two days when the stumbled across the kittens new hide out. well better then never so sat afternoon started the fiasco !
enter black out moment 5
I was at work so i missed the enjoyment of this and got to merely partake in the enjoyment of cuddling the new captured kittens. HOWEVER i was there to experience the second fiasco of catching ebony. so we held them while they alternated between hissing and sleeping. my mother and father built a cardboard fort to put them in and we were going to call it a night till we could figure out what to do with them. well.. thats the thing about plans.. you always need plan B.
i was washing my hands looking out the kitchen window watching towey try to get back in the fort and watching the fort shakily move all over the side yard. ok executive decision time ( my mom was flustered, exhausted and stressed) so out went our shepards kennel to the side yard.
well kittens were more angry now so they were spitting. my fellow non cat people let me give you a visual. Jerassic Park


REMEMBER we are NOT CAT PEOPLE. so my brother and I jumped every time. alright... so plan C. we cut a 'flap ' to just scoot them into the cage well DAMN IT EBONY she slips past spits and gets away.. now visualize 3 grown ups and one mother cat searching a tiny yet junk filled side yard for a black cat at 630 pm.


black out number 6 - I agreed to watch the Franke loves of my life micha and sky so I rush out and say a loud prayer on the way both for me not to be late and her to be found.
three hours later I get " got her"
thank you god ! - I post on FB i have three kittens praying someone will want them and want them ASAP


God is good. 630 am sunday morning i have an email from my best friend Heather. she going to surprise her mom and she doesn't want stowaway. i reply my honest warning of how they hiss and thank her! one down two to go!


flash to 5 30 pm. my ma picks me up from work and there is stowaway in her lap.
" she's not doing well. she's been lethargic all day and I caught twoey nudging her in the cage so vie had her in your room and been using a medicine syringe to get water down her. what do i do! "
" heather mom will know. after they surprise her we will ask her. it will be ok. "


heather comes with the family. She sees stowaway and decides she will take her to her mom. sees the other two and says maybe she take all three.
for those of you who don't know heather. I knew all three were getting a home. She doesn't not get what she wants. she likes to call her self a motivator. I call her good!


the next 4 hours we lots of family visiting. ( the knapps our my other family and I like to think we are their's ) kitten cuddling. vet visits and me saying
" please don't hate me bob " lol
Happy endings do happen.
so here we are. Monday night. my kittens are in two happy homes where I still get to see them!
they got the clean bill of health today and I believe Heather you were entirely correct .


" Cats are an omen from God. They are for healing"



I'm NOW a cat person





Twoey lives on our side yard still
I giggle. my mother says " SHUT UP" :)

GOD GRACE SHINES THROUGH IN ACTIONS .

I LOVE MY OTHER FAMILY FOR MORE REASONS THEN ONE and ONCE AGAIN YOUR MY HEROS!

I don't have to be ME till MONDAY !

IN ONE WORD OR PHRASE : Hallelujah it's friday!

IM DREAMING OF YOU : A new car. particularly an acura - though i haven't shopped around.

SONG ON REPEAT:" Ain't much left of loving you "

GOT TO WRITE IT DOWN: "" In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the old .: - John 16:33

LESSON LEARNED : Sometimes the best thing to say is nothing. and other times the best thing to say is everything. Choosing right is the difficult part.

PICTURE TO FRAME:

My Nursing girls and I after passing practicums. we have only known each other for 6 months but already i adore them! and miss seeing them 3 times a week now that its summer break..

HIGHLIGHT OF THE WEEK : coming home to find my mom had bought cat food. - perhaps ill blog about that story. - shah i should have bet on her big heart. I knew she would break down and do it. she just did it days before i expected :)

WEEKEND TO DO LIST: its pirate day at the river and we just so happen to be floating down it for my BF nicole's 25 th birthday. then a fancy dinner :) sunday church and a family BBQ! going to be a good weekend.

My head is in the clouds.

Dream Big. thats what were taught . - Because dreams do come true.

The last couple days I can't seem to get my head out of the clouds. What am I dreaming o you ask....

1. Graduation day! so i can make all these other dreams happen

2.. A cooking tour through europe. or some sort of culture infested adventure through Greece,Rome,Venice and Ireland.





3. Of Opening a hospital in Africa where there's a real floor, curtains between patients and one person to a bed.



4. the bike wine tour planning with my two best adventure girls. :) - . sweet wine. feet propped up after the bike tours and good friends / lots of laughs. its about that time. been a year since our last vaca.

5. that somehow am famous - still working on how to pull that off so that i can merely be on DANCING WITH THE STARS!
if that dream weren't big enough that Derek would be my partner !

"the one"

" the one"

I used to be obsessed with asking the older generation i took care of in high school " How did you know he was the one "
they only answer I ever got was " I just knew" I hated that. and as much as i hated that simple answer I've lived by it.
I recently watched 500 days of summer. loved. I related to the main girl. what hit home

" I woke up one day sure of what i was never sure of with you ".
DEEP!

so how do you just know. . how do you ignore thinking logically
do we have he same beliefs. dreams of travel. morals. money habits. wanting children. idea of where to live. ... ect.

these two.. these two are the reason I still believe fairy tales come true. happy relationships still exist and marriage is worth it.

TOday my Best friends celebrate 5 years HAPPILY MARRIED! -

My speech 5 years ago is as true now as it was then ( snippet )

"Stephen you will be happy to know you're the only one I never told her to break up with. That's because stephen , before you, Nicole never glowed quite the was she does now and if i knew nothing else about you that would be enough to make me love you for her. I couldn't help but believe you two had found your soul- mates. Fro me maybe that is what is so great about today even if for only one night these two make me believe again. "

I love you both more then words can capture a. Here's to my best friend and her hubby who s now more then my best friend's husband but my friend.

CHEERS and CONGRATULATIONS!

we played a game at her bridal shower. everyone had to leave advice on a card.

WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE TO KNOWING A PERSON IS THE ONE ?

HELLO SUMMER

SLACKER : I know I have been! so MAY what did you hold ...

1. PASSED BLOCK ONE

I can't begin to explain to you how relieved I am. Rocked the final and sealed my B in the class. THe girls and I celebrated with lunch at a little sandwich joint by school and beers and bowling :) I've missed seeing them all week but the days of waking up at 445 and endless chapters to read im enjoying not having on my to do list.

2. COUNTRY BOOTS

yep finally made a decision on a pair and purchased! they made their debut at the Brooks and Dunn concert . Now they just need a spin around the dance floor to have them officially broken in :) LOVE LOVE them.

3. Brooks and Dunn concert- The whole concert was AWESOME. probably one of the best vie been to. Loved going with the fam. my mom had the time of her life.

hightlight. his story on when he told his wife why he got his COWBOY tattoo stamped on his arm ( elbow to wrist) - " I can't wear a cowboy hat, my head looks like a peanut in it and it pisses me off I can't wear one. Im a cowboy ! " then he rolled up his sleeve to revealed how he going to display his love for being country !

4. MEGS PUB CRAWL

hayley successfully pulled of a surprise pub crawl for megan. our shirts may have had a few errors but the entire night was a COMPLETE success. made it to all 7 bars. and lived up to our a night we wont completely remember.

Finally got to try the atomic cherry - bad decision. ROUGH. got the live band at the irish pub to play a country song. Matt spun me around the dance floor. switched gears at the vintage and got low. had a fab 2 am taco and snuggle session. doesn't get much better then that. EXCEPT yep. a fab breakfast with the girls at mimis sat morning. Mimosas and stories of both the night and in general. LOVE LOVE you ladies. GOOD TIMES!

5. COSMIC BINGO

So i'm Still trying to live up to my do one new thing a month idea that i started back in high school.. and this months. Cosmic bingo. 12 am - 3 am. they transform the bingo room into a loud, dark, party. people dance and laugh . drink dollar beers and hold their breath hoping they get the last 2 numbers to win before someone else does :) - bingo usually makes me a nervous wreck I WANT TO WIN SO BAD and you have no idea how close everyone else lol but it was fun. be attending next month as well for anyone who wants to join

6. Finished 2 books!

lesser reading.. oh how i forgot how pleasant you were. however with the craziness of school I didn't have time to make Im reading this summer list - i need some suggestions of good books. :)

7. Lauren graduated! CONGRATES lover im so proud of you . and CANT WAIT FOR YOU TO BE HOME> trio is going on vacation get ready!

REALLY looking forward to .

BBQ tomorrow for memorial day

the river for my BFF's bday!

toby keiths concert

the hotel study session and pool day with my nursing girls

seeing bounty hunter and sex and the city 2 this week!

moving.

LAUREN being home.

and a mini vacation - to where i haven't decided

oh SUMMER SUN i've been waiting for you. hello BBQ's. lazy days.. and 40 hr work weeks... :)

HAVE A GREAT WEEK!

A statement .

Here is the thing about apologies. The delivery of an apologies is both an art and a science. Art meaning the manner in which an apology is delivered and the science being the apology itself. Done right, an apology can enhance.Done wrong and they compound the original mistake.

To be completely honest I feel like apologies aren't needed but perhaps that's because they are often delivered with no sincerity. At least in my experiences. In the last couple days I've received 3 apologies from three different people and One conversation which i'm thinking was meant to start off well and was executed poorly. So why did the 3 apologies and one conversation spark this post ? I thought perhaps blogging will get me back to the 'over it'.

well... and to be PERFECTLY honest. I figured I should make a confession aswell. in case you haven't figured out the hard way this is me...

On the PLUS SIDE : It take A LOT. i mean serious hurt feelings. complete disrespect. the same action repeated that already had a 'talk' about. to put you on my SHIT list.

DOWN SIDE : once you are there its just as hard to get off.

THAT SAID -

i believe in forgiveness. I forgive sometimes quickly other times with effort but I FORGIVE. -

but I've struggled for years to separate forgiveness from trust. - and that i still have trouble with.

Anyway...

here's the key ingredients of a perfect apology/ "talk" ... at least for me

forget being defensive ! the min you get defensive it throws any sincerity out the window and you wind up in a worse of place then you started. An apology is all about THEM, (the one who is upset) and how they feel. It doesn't matter if the actions were intentional or not, the end result is the same and that is what needs to be focused on

acknowledges the error

takes ownership of the mistaken choices made—

Don't simply apologize because well i know she's mad/irritated so it'll fix that

MEAN them when you state them.

Silence isn't always a bad thing. Typically If im silent Im fuming. your avoiding being ripped apart and ill ' understand' why you did what you did in my own time. then ill get over it.

# 1 : Don't ruin an apology with an excuse

"A stiff apology is a second insult.... The injured party does not want to be compensated because he has been wronged; he wants to be healed because he has been hurt."

Gilbert Keith Chesterton

nothing a lil of this cant cure

there is nothing i DESPISE more then a FUNK and thats exactly what im in today.
but work is over ! I've crawled into Pj's snagged these 2 things

( wine and the third book to this series )

so move over funk tonights going be a good night! :)

Bonus : no work tomorrow!

you know it was a rough weekend

when you look forward to monday.

#28

What a great evening. I got to tan and study all day then dinner with the madre at BJ bewery's where I satisfied my caving with the sante fe salad and a pizza cookie. after dinner my madre suggest we go browse the apple store and

I bought my MAC!

THANK YOU MIKE - his customer service was impeccable. I'm not a computer savvy person and Mike never made me feel incompetent. He may think I'm crazy since I went in there and spontaneously bought a computer and I'm as red as a lobster but not incompetent :)

so scratching of # 28 on the things to do before I'm 30 :) EXCITING !

The enternal scrapbook of an entire life fades...

I don't believe in coincidence...

I don't really know where to start on this blog.... I'm not entirely sure how I feel. I didn't cry at first. My family hasn't mentioned it much- only enough to acknowledge that they are aware its happening. But, I feel like not talking about it somehow portrays I don't care and yet I can't get myself to discuss it with anyone so here I am.

I hopped on the computer yesterday after work to browse FB for a moment and chill out. Listen to some music and get control of my anger when I noticed the window open was on dementia. ( internal thought went something like this ) "Weird, I didn't open that page I haven't started studying yet. Why is someone else interested in dementia... "
a little bit later I went to have dinner with my parents and there was the online page printed and sitting by my dads seat.
NO . no.

" she ( my grandmother - the one referred to in a previous blog about running in the rain) was diagnosed with vascular dementia."

that was it- all that's really been said.

- so why did I state I don't believe in coincidence...
well the last two lectures for school have been on phyc. patients. and dementia was a topic two Mondays ago. Then, this past Monday we watched a 1 or so video on dementia. It was a lady for Texas who was on the mission to make people better aware of whats happening with this disease to hopefully teach them more patients.
her favorite phrase " who has the big brain" - whenever someone started to loose their patience

you would never ask a patient with lung cancer to run for you. because that disease takes of the lungs and they don't function as they should so why then
do you ask a patient who brain is shrinking. whose disease attacks everything center of the brain that controls everything we know to stop asking so many questions. why do we get frustrated with those whose brains have a disease they have no control over to ' work with me'- try to remember. " stay there! "

the video hit home on Monday. little did i know it would have an even bigger impact come Friday.
My entire family is guilty of loosing patience with my grandmother. I'll be honest. my grandmother is one of the most difficult people you could encounter - always has been. but i have a million good memories with her. She has so many Cork's that drive you crazy but make you love her too.




she had 11 brothers and sisters - was a total daddy;s girl. I could recap her childhood Ive heard the stories so many times. She's an amazing story teller. She loves red. hates cats. walks bare foot any chance she gets.Used to embarrass the crap out of me when we would go on walks and she would be a peeping tom as we walked by loving to look at how people decorated their house. - she said if they left the blinds wide open they wanted you to see their home. she has an obsession with trees like I do with the sky. And i think she is the only person who watched Guiding Light for its 40 + years it was on. she makes killer fried salmon and uses phrases like " ill be darn" and " for heavens sakes."



so ... " I be darn" I learned about vascular dementia just in time to know I'm loosing my grandma before she's literally gone. That I think is the hardest part about it. Its a long goodbye.

Good Week/ Bad week

I know your thinking how can you possibly need 'a good week bad week vent' when its only WEDNESDAY - well I'm a bit overwhelmed so my tolerance level has been reduced a wee bit this week.

OK OK .. if I'm completely honest..... last week it 'that ' day occurred.
It hits me every once in a while, unexpectedly with usually not real big reason.

I never mention this anymore- I try not to talk about it.
but truth is i did what i always do. how Meredeth/Derek said it best
" I'm just waiting for it to pass"

It did. I had a friend coming, 3 full days of work, a book to finish and two huge exams to focus on. -

Then .
smooth work weekend - good week
finally felt better - good week
got to see my nursing girls - good week
DIVINE weather this week - good week
found out we have a exam next Monday as well - bad week
texts all of class from co workers on everything that was being changed by my new manager without any supervisor being there - bad week
hadn't studied for the practicum - bad week
last min study session - good week
made it to the gym for a intense workout with mark - good week
late for work - bad week
manager made me call and make a request to someone I'm no longer friends with - bad week
that conversation was short, this person was rude and immediately regret being considerate AGAIN - bad week
introduction with the new manager - bad week
getting told how to do my job all day and then 1/2 apologized to when he realized what was going on - bad week
complaining about change - bad week
gym work out number 2 routines back in full swing - good weed
energy pill made me wide awake to study and read - good week
PASSED MY 3RD PRACTICUM!! - good week
breakfast at the best place down town - good week
heard a song on the drive home. Instantly started to cry. - bad week
here the song ...


There was passion, there was laughter
The first morning after
I just couldn't’t get my feet to touch the ground
Every time we were together
We talked about forever
I was certain it was Heaven
We had found

So why they call it falling
i don't know....
Sooner or later
You have to come down

It’s like a knife through the heart
When it all comes apart
It’s like someone takes a pin
To your balloon
It’s a hole, it’s a cave
It’s kinda like a grave
Why they call it falling
Now I know



did a good deed/ had a minor panic attack/ saw how my good deed was being returned with not so much consideration,/ extra hr Dr and a 2 hr wait = annoyance - bad week
car needs a completely new air compressor - more money then i have and its 80's weather next week - bad week
looked at new cars cant afford them - bad week lol
made it to the gym - good week
found out something... - bad week
no desire to study- bad idea!
have to attend a meeting tomorrow on my day off with the boss i already don't enjoy - bad week
Friday may have suns tickets again - good week

and I'll always end on a good week.

L.I.F.E

Here's a minor detail about moi' - I'm a huge list maker. To do lists, grocery lists,Christmas lists, who goes to lunch when lists.
Post it notes may have been one of the single greatest inventions in my book
this very simplistic piece of paper helps keep my sanity. Nothing makes me feel more accomplished then a list I can scratch off when I get the task completed.

where am i going with this . good question.
One my best friends Nicole wrote a blog this week on things she wants to accomplish by the time she becomes 30 and she wrote me asking me to make a list. naturally since I'm a list maker i instantly said sure but i must admit coming up with the list wasn't as easy as I originally thought.

Here it goes
1. learn to cook, really cook
2. Go on a mission trip to another country - my hearts always pushed for Africa but anywhere will do.
3. Volunteer more
4. Backpack Europe and see Ireland
5. read the bible from cover to cover
6. sky dive
7. Do something with my photography passion
8. Learn to play an instrument again
9 see bon jovi every year until he quits
10. ride a horse- but I mean run, be in control verses riding on one that's done the trail so many times i could close my eyes and it would know the way
11. be fluent in sign language
12. volunteer at a church or somewhere as an interpreter
13. learn to drive stick shift but on a rd not just in a parking lot
( though i appreciate your attempts Mikey )
14. Make a difference in a complete strangers life
15. hike the grand canyon
16. Be married and thinking about children ( at least )
17. a serious road trip with my closest girl friends
18 Experienced Vegas at New years
19 Be working on my masters in nursing ( so i can teach one day )
20. Be keeping a journal of patients who made a difference in my life
( hooked on this book called the scalpel and the soul right now)
21 Be living on my own
22. Have a new car
23. Be at a job I love.
24 have had my hair long - mermaid style as heather calls it
25 have attempted a garden
26 done the wince country bike tour with Lauren and Hayley
27 white water raft again on a more intense river
28 bought a mac lap top


I leave you with this as the reason for her wanting the list.

"in the end,
it's not the years in your life that count,
it's the life in your years.

~ Abraham Lincoln ~




so years ago I made this list - things I have realized in my twenty + years

1. F.A.I.T.H is the most important thing. - its the one thing that will get you through everything.
pray. god listens.


2" gut feeling"- your intuition. listen to it. - trust that you may, with out explanation , just know.

3. it takes years to build up trust and only one lie to loose it.

4. True friends are hard to come by. make sure you let only the right ones walk out of your life. or walk back in - you'll know . - A true friend is always there. no matter the time. or how far. or how much they have to drop in that moment.. . aren't afraid to tell you the truth . and will always be supportive whether they agree with you or not. --- everyone should have " a person" .

5. You let your family get away with more. . no reason behind it.

6. Everyone has there own problems. they may not view them as intense as your own but it doesn't mean they are less difficult to deal with .

7. The hardest thing you will learn is how to say goodbye.

8. Love requires you to forgive , a lot.
forgiving doesn't mean you have to forget. - just makes it easier.

9. Love may not always be enough. ---everyone idea of love is different.

10. dying of a broken heart or lack of hope is possible.

11. not knowing is the worst feeling.

12. Sometimes the plan doesn't work out. & neither does the back up plan. That maybe its better to skip the plan entirely!

13. maturity does not go hand in hand with age.

14. Life is much sweeter when you ENJOY your job.

15. LAUGH! as often as possible.
" you never worked so hard that milk came out your nose! "

16. Money can't go to the grave with you. So Take as many vacations as possible. Play as much as you can. -

17 when bad things are occurring remember " bad things happen in threes. gives you a end point." my mom

18. The best way to overcome a fear. Face it!

19. ACTIONS! will always speak louder than words.

20. improv is a talent

21. its important to know yourself and love who you let yourself be.

22. helpful motto when all else fails. sleep.

OK Nicole - I did your list. now do one of the things you have learned in your 20 + yrs.

social butterfly - its in my genes.

As a child you get told " Don't talk to strangers" - however, this particular stranger made me have a GREAT night.

Enter Sean. - here's a little background.
I met Sean about 2 months ago in Pine Top. Hayley and I had gone up to meet a friend. well this friend ended up being a royal ass so I did my typical passive aggressive style and moved to the other side of the bar. Well in people watching
( let me tell you that was highly entertaining in pinetop- who would have thought)
Sean came over in his drunken stupor and started chatting it up. Watched the video on how he got his black eye blah blah. danced. great time.

well Sean works for the suns so he emailed Hayley and i tickets to Sundays game since i survived the week, passed all my tests and well he can. THEN To top it off her hooked us up at the Toyota lounge and we got FREE food and drinks all night!

so free light rail ride with out ticket. free tickets. free dinner. free booze. free snacks. more free booze. = PHENOM evening.

suns won! in case you didn't get to watch. After the game we chilled at Marley's till he was off. the homeless man playing guitar didn't miss a beat when the fight broke out in front of him. IMPRESSIVE. and he stopped playing when we left so we left him a nice tip for the entertainment.
Karaoke was to follow. as was unnecessary shots and more singing.
should have added this to the funny thing of the week. Hayley and I in all our glory attempted Bug a Boo. - Word to the wise this song is a lot harder then you remember. lesson learned.
2. all karaoke men are sarcastic we got a " did you forget how to read" - we were only singing the chorus really. LOL!
"nope just cant after so many beers!"

CHEERS to Sean and the awesome Sunday night.

had my milkshake today. my first burn of the yr and a fab dinner with family from out of town. spring break is off to a fantastic start!
4 days and ERIN IS HERE!!!

FUNNY

"funny thing of the week "

1. Stopped by Hayley's after church Sunday since hadn't seen her in weeks and she was cutting my moms hair. well we decided to go to look at cowboy boots ( CT! )
anyways. I pull into the parking space and the van next to us sliding door is WIDE open. toys everywhere. car seats strapped in. NOT A SOUL IN SIGHT!
this poor mom.

2. My co- worker Jason posted on his status his 2 day countdown to Mexico. I went to type jealous but it ended up jeluos. so i deleted it. tried again. jelous. damn it no a. so i deleted it. 3rd time jealous. - perfect.
A min later i get a text. " 3rd times the charm"
damn fb updates to the phone. awesome.

and its only Monday ;) - those are for you bia. xoxox

(sigh)

hello spring break ! I've been waiting for you



A rough weekend at work. few trips to the gym, 1 crazy phys teacher, 2 meetings. and 3 exams later and this week is over!

OK I'm going to toot my own horn here for a moment and update all of you that I have failed to see or talk to since the 12 days of stress started.

Monday was my second BIG exam for nursing school. I rocked it. 95% ( toot toot and a shout out to all who quized me) the whole middle table rocked this exam - we are all very proud - Thank the man upstairs or I would have been really pissed for locking myself in the house the entire weekend for nothing.
wed. and today were the practicums ( the actual demonstrations - vitals and medications). Now I know you think well piece of cake but you haven't dealt with Alfreda Morales she helps you out in no way shape or form. - pretty sure only my nursing crew will understand this to its completeness but you get the point.

Now I'm not sure I can articulate the awful feeling between nervous/anxious/terrified and ready I felt before each practicum. Especially today's. AWFUL!
( if you didn't pass practicums you were out of the program! )
but deep breath out. Its now spring break and I wont worry about the last two until closer to Monday the 22. ( in which the prayers, fingers crossed and wish upon starts are required of all my friends AGAIN)

so hello spring break I've been counting down for you.
The week looks something like this. burning a CT CD as we speak ! STOKED. about to go organize my bill statements to file since my taxes are complete and do some homework for the physc lecture I love being responsible ! and tonight. FAM night. its my fathers birthday. :) cheers to another yr to a man i wish everyone could know.

then work a couple days. going out all weekend! I have a gym session with a trainer sat... I never work out on sat so this should be interesting. SHOPPING :) -
Sean scored me and Hayley tickets to the game Sunday night!
one day I don't plan on exiting bed ! you will be my favorite I think. Hopefullly one of the days ill get to go to the movies with coco since Friday fell threw.
WED! ST PATTY'S DAY and THURSDAY ERIN ARRIVES ! ( Lauren if I were you I would be doing a heal click! lol )

hope all of you have a fab week as well. AND this is my week to see EVERYONE! so if you have missed me book now ;)
xoxox